Why don’t we spend more time praying? Are we too busy? Do we have our priorities mixed up? Have we stopped believing in the power of prayer? Or God’s power? Most Christians will admit that a consistent prayer life is elusive. And we usually believe it’s down to some of the reasons already cited. However, when you read Paul’s prayers for others he doesn’t identify these sorts of things to be at the root of prayerlessness.
When I think about my prayer life I don’t think my biggest need is to know the love of Christ.
Consider two well known passages. Paul writes, “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of his calling” (Ephesians 1:18). Earlier in the same epistle he tells the believers at Ephesus what he asks God for, on their behalf. “That you may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:18-19).
I don’t know about you, but when I think about my prayer life I don’t naturally think that my biggest need or struggle is to know the love of Christ, the hope of his calling, and being flooded with God’s fullness. Yet Paul thinks those are our biggest needs! How will that grow me closer to God? Isn’t the problem that I’m lazy? Don’t I just watch too much television? Surely I simply spend more time on my phone than on my knees? Isn’t that the real problem?
Discussing Prayer Can Be Discouraging
This reality was recently brought to my attention as I sat with a group of church leaders, discussing our prayer lives. It was a pretty depressing situation. Ironic. I know. You would assume that amongst a bunch of church leaders this subject would excite us. Instead, it exposed us. I didn’t look forward to my turn to share. In fact, to this day, I’m yet to meet a Christian whose face lights up when asked how their personal prayer life is going. It’s like asking a 6 year old, “Have you eaten your veggies today?” You get no response. Maybe a side eye.
Is there any relationship between the gospel and my prayer life?
The reasons we gave as church leaders for our prayerlessness are similar to what I described above. They ranged from busyness to laziness, procrastination to lack of discipline, and a host of other pragmatic excuses. I didn’t hear one person connect their lack of prayerlessness to a deeper understanding of the gospel, including myself. We sat discouraged. I thought, ‘surely prayer is something I’ll never get right. There’s no way I will ever feel like I’ve arrived at having a healthy prayer rhythm, whatever that looks like.’
I mean, how does one even measure that? How many hours are sufficient? What will it take before I confidently tell others about my prayer life? When can we call our prayer habits healthy? Summing most of those questions up: how much effort is enough for me to know that I am praying enough? Is there any relationship between the gospel and my prayer life? Or am I sort of on my own for this one?
The Answer to Prayerlessness Isn’t Sheer Effort
What I gleaned from all the above answers is that as Christians we think a way to grow closer to God in prayer is by putting in more effort. We think it is by being more pragmatic. Most of us believe that we need to set our alarm clocks for waking up earlier, attend more prayer meetings, and watch less television if we’re to grow in prayer. Now, of course, those things are helpful. But are they the things Paul would exhort? Do they reflect his prayers for others? Again, there’s nothing wrong with more effort. But we must ask what is motivating our efforts. Are they gospel empowered?
Look at Ephesians 1:18 and Ephesians 3:18-19 again. Paul’s prayers are based on the gospel. It is the only proper foundation for any efforts to grow in our relationship with God. Growing in prayerfulness is grounded in applying and understanding the gospel.
Rather than praying for more discipline. Paul prays for more light.
After that roundtable with other church leaders we read Ephesians 3:14-21. And God opened my eyes to observe this invaluable insight from Paul’s prayer. Rather than praying for more effort or discipline. Paul prays for more light. He prays for something much more fundamental. He prays that believers possess a deeper understanding of the gospel. It’s almost as if he assumes that the deeper the church understands the gospel, then the pragmatics around prayer will take care of themselves.
Prayer is, at the end of the day, the natural result of a heart meditating on, cherishing, and delighting in the riches of what Christ has done. That’s our motivation. The gospel. So I propose that our prayerlessness is in large part the result of failing to understand the depths of God’s love. When we do this prayer ceases to be duty. It becomes an instinctive and joyful response. But in our quest to be more prayerful we default to performing better, as opposed to understanding deeper.
Beware Hypocritical Prayerfulness
Performance tends towards hypocrisy. This seems to be what Jesus challenges in Matthew 6:5, 7. He warns against praying to be seen and vain repetition. In short, such prayers are ignorant of who God is and make too much of man. Praying without a correct understanding of who we are or who we’re praying to. So Jesus proceeds to teach the Lord’s Prayer. By teaching this Jesus provides us with a correct understanding of the Father. This is who hears our prayer. One who relates to us as children. Like many of us today, the crowds before Jesus believed effort and stricter observance of the law was how you got closer to God.
If you understood more of the love of Christ you would pray more fervently.
Are you discouraged to pray? Are you feeling like you aren’t putting enough effort into your prayer life? Has prayer become a chore and burden rather than a delight? Have you, like the Pharisees, reduced prayer to performance? What if the problem isn’t a lack of work to improve your prayer life? What if you haven’t understood the depth of the gospel? Surely if you understood more of the love of Christ you would pray more fervently! If you knew the hope of his calling it would make you excited about talking to him! Then, waking up early or attending prayer meetings, spending hours communing with God, would cease to be a chore. It would become a delight.
Pour Gospel Fuel into the Praying Engine
For diagnosing prayerlessness we need to ask different questions to those that are common. We also need better solutions: gospel-driven delight; a desire for greater fellowship with God. Not duty. Nor mere discipline. As the saying goes, it’s impossible to have smoke without fire. Similarly, to grow a deeper understanding of the gospel cannot but lead to rearranged priorities, both prizing and pursuing more time with God.
Prayer is humbling. It never gives us the satisfaction of feeling like we’ve mastered it. There’s a sense in which I might say I’ve mastered Wayne Grudem’s Systematic Theology. After all, I can capture his thoughts and ideas about some subject or doctrine. But God will give no such rewards. God, through prayer, ensures that we remain dependent upon him. And as we understand deeper, rather than merely working harder, we grow healthier in our prayer lives. The reverse isn’t true. So, Christian brother or sister: understand, delight, repent and pray. In that order.
